@tsm560: Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already.
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@Mr_Kapowski: [calls wife from store] "Are you in more of a frolicking or jumping in the air mood? There's so many tampon choices"
@TastyTuneTweets: Idea: ATM that sends you encouraging messages like "You Can Do it" or "Ramen Noodles Aren't So Bad" when you check your sad Account Balance
@PinkCamoTO: There is no bond greater than the mutual respect of two former high school friends who refuse to friend each other on Facebook.
@pattymo: AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series