@zachreinert03: Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no
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@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"
@Cheeseboy22: When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with Reese's Pieces so on my headstone it can say "R.I.R.P."
@matt___nelson: [start of interview] Me: hi sir nice to meet you *i go to shake is hand but spill his coffee everywhere* Interviewer: ...welcome to BP
@mayamanion: The whole "bad boy" thing is fun until you have kids with him. Ooh you drank away the diaper money? That's soooo hot