@ScottLinnen: Got bucked off my high horse. Now I only have contusions of grandeur.
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@adriennekhals: Worst day. Had a tampon behind my ear all afternoon and still cant find my cigarette.
@BuckyIsotope: *pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital
@I_am_Lukem: Get your hero name by doing something brave and seeing what the newspapers call you. I'm Local Man.