@AristotlesNZ: Got caught again. Next time I'm stealin alcohol from the neighbor's, I gotta remember not to do it hummin the Mission Impossible theme song.
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@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.
@david8hughes: [fakes allergic reaction at dinner] Me: I-I'm- [clutches chest & falls to floor] I'm gonna need you to pay for me
@internetluke: [restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!
@batkaren: "Every dog has his day," they used to say. Still, no one was quite prepared that morning Emperor Mister Pickles marched his army into town.