@64spoons: Got CPR and CCR confused. Ended up playing "Fortunate Son" on my boombox while watching a man die.
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@rolldiggity: ME: "Trick or bear?" NEIGHBOR: "Bear?" ME: "HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains]
@TheOneTrueDisco: Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
@SacamanoB: Whenever I wake up in a bad mood I always wear a shirt I don't like just in case I turn into The Hulk.