@mstluvstrinkets: Got fast food so many times this week that when mcd's asked me to pull out front to wait for my order, I was expecting an intervention.
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@jergarl: In my defense, my response to her inquiry as to how my day was going was "I'm less stabby than normal" not "Please tell me about your cat."
@That_Damn_Duck: My cat is walking a very fine line between being cute & being sold to the Korean restaurant down the street.
@yonewt: God I'm so stupid I was looking all over for my car keys, turns out they were on my head the entire time.
@HeyZeus666: In the earliest part of my life I was a man trapped inside a woman's body. Then mom gave birth to me.