@mstluvstrinkets: Got fast food so many times this week that when mcd's asked me to pull out front to wait for my order, I was expecting an intervention.
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@furrrizzle: Dear diary, My date got really excited when I said I wanted to cook for him. Apparently Meth wasn't what he expected. Dating is bull shit
@TuffyNyC: "Instead of a 58 year old woman, I wanna look like a 28 year old shiny iguana" - Plastic Surgery
@Book_Krazy: Dr: You've gained some weight Me: You said I should take it easy Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick Me: WELL I'M NOT A MIND READER
@mrtruthandsoul: Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?