@LosLos__: Got home late to a note that said "Wake me up for sex", which I stared at for 10 mins before realizing it was my own handwriting.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin.
@TheHyyyype: SURGEON: *cutting open patient's torso* NURSE: sir, what are you doing?! this is a knee replacement! SURGEON: there's a Pokémon in there
@TuffyNyC: "Statistics show that most shark attacks happen in shallow water." Really? Maybe cus that's where the ppl are u idiots.