@BradBroaddus: Got in a fight with the wife so I didn't let her sleep on the couch with me last night.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WeissBrandon: Everyone quits smoking when they die, which sucks cause dying is a really stressful event that would be helped quite a bit by a cigarette.
@LackOfShame: I've never bitten off more than I can chew, but once I put too much mouthwash in my mouth and couldn't swish it around.
@1_swarthy_dude: Missing area man described as boringly conventional, was easily found by multiplying height x width.