@TheRobCee: Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying "poop deck" & snickering.
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@TimmyPumpkin: dorothy: WET TSHIRT CONTEST! wicked witch: NOOOOOOOOO! tin man: worst spring break ever.
@ImAlexOliver: Just installed an egg cannon on the hood of my car. Flipping people off and cursing at them just doesn't satisfy me anymore.
@DallyDoll: Gross. This salad tastes like pee and vegetables. Don't ask me how I know what vegetables taste like.
@martyntanton: My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."