@AndrewChamings: Got kicked out of my motorcycle gang again for trying to sell essential oils
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@comer310: Cop: A ghost killed your family? Guy: Yes! Cop: Did u forward yesterday's spooky chain email to 5 ppl? Guy: No? Cop: Well there you go.
@KateQFunny: TIP: Always carry a motorcycle helmet with u. Then u never have to do your hair & u can blame it on safety & the law & stuff. #lifehacks