@Nahdude83: Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HowToBeADad: I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.
@druuuck: BOSS: it says here that you're too sexy for your shirt. Is that a typo? ME: *doing my little turn on the catwalk* I'm also good with Excel
@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
@Carbosly: [in a bar] Him: Trouble is my middle name. Me: wow... That's a stupid middle name. You must hate your parents. Him: *breaks down crying