@Tmoney68: Got kicked out of the karaoke bar last night for getting 3 women pregnant when I sang Careless Whisper.
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@BarryVonAwesome: Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*
@ArfMeasures: [Drives date home] ME [stops and revs engine sexily] I had a great time tonight DATE: [climbs off my lawnmower] I did not
@storming01: The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.