@Tmoney68: Got kicked out of the karaoke bar last night for getting 3 women pregnant when I sang Careless Whisper.
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@TheGabbieShow: that horrifying moment when a kid asks u to help find his mom bc he was always told if he was lost to ask a grownup & u realize ur a grownup
@ermahgarton: bae:come over me:The Incredibles is on tv bae:my parents aren't home me:it's limited commercials bae:i need u me:he can't find his supersuit
@SteveSuckington: [job interview] "What's your.." *interrupts* -My greatest strength is my work ethic "Well played. Welcome to the psychic friends network"
@KimmyMonte: Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don't like any of the current presidential candidates