@Eric_Bader: Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@okaypup: I wish I was from Finland so when people asked if I was Finnish I could say "no, in fact, I'm just getting started"
@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
@sensualgifs: when you're sick of dropping subtle hints to the guy you like and getting no where