@WilliamAder: Got my flu shot and now everyone in Walgreens knows my safe word.
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@JustDontBugMe: Millennial1: What's a Solar Eclipse? Millennial2: When the moon photobombs the sun.
@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
@Kelly_skeleton: People who have 'taken' in their bio, sit tight, Liam Neeson will around to collect you shortly
@david8hughes: [at the drs] Dr: are you sexually active? Me: yeah Dr: with real people Me [avoiding eye contact & twisting my foot in the ground]: yip