@WilliamAder: Got my flu shot and now everyone in Walgreens knows my safe word.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You're not like other girls. 3-year-old: *continues looking for the right Barbie to fight her dinosaurs*
@glazerboohoohoo: I bet the worst part abt being an organ harvester for the black market is having to fill the motel bathtub using that little bucket for ice.
@stephenjmolloy: Jesus: "BRAINS!" *everyone looks scared* Jesus: "Just kidding! I'm fine, I'm fine."