@Cheeseboy22: Got my son to paint our fence by telling him it was his first karate class.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jazmasta: DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? ME: Can't say I do DOC: That's one of the symptoms, yes.
@DurtMcHurtt: Make new friends by waking up strangers with forehead kisses after they've fallen asleep on the train.
@NJFreudian: I think twitter is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
@hazelmotes1: "I missed you so much!" I shout as I run past my wife's open arms and jump into my bed.