@Cheeseboy22: Got my son to paint our fence by telling him it was his first karate class.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: My walk of shame is spending 10 minutes trying to pronounce something at a Mexican restaurant before giving up and ordering tacos.
@dreamthievin: A true Columbus Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise is infested with smallpox
@PaulyPeligroso: 90 years from now, they'll sing songs about the courage and bravery you displayed during the great "Instagram Selling Your Photos" skirmish.
@kyry5: [God creating the stingray] Ya know Peter, I was getting out of the shower this morning and thought "what if I made my bathmat a murderer?"