@STACEYNIGHTMARE: Got super excited about a 200 meter butterfly till someone explained it to me.
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@MattMcElaney: 10 years ago parents were like "be careful what you put on the web" and we were all "lol. old people." now none of us can ever be President.
@TheDjinnTrials: I will be with you always and forever, even during the rough times, until the day we die. -Herpes
@UncleDuke1969: Daughter: Here you go! Me: You're my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote.
@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects