@Brianhopecomedy: Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories.
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@Chocovania: GOOD COP: The sign on your door says NOTARY NOTARY: Yes? NOT A GOOD COP: *menacingly leans onto desk* Sounds like something a RY would say
@funnyordie: Lots of people comparing Trump to ISIS and Hitler. Wow. Take it easy, guys! That's not very nice to ISIS or Hitler.
@DebraMuffin: Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.