@Brianhopecomedy: Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories.
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@Ilovelamp1979: One of the worst things about tweeting while driving is all of the people that seem to appear out of nowhere on the sidewalk.
@RtrJan: My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk.
@tehaveragejoel: *bites nails* Sorry. Bad habit. I haven't been on a date in a while "I can see why" she says, pulling her fingers out of my mouth