@TheCatWhisprer: Got the dermatologist recommended detergent and dryer sheets and I'm pretty sure it would've been cheaper to just buy a whole new body.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: words that seem cool until you find out what they mean - atrophy - space bar - supervision - extraction - dogmatic
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Did you use my highlighter? 2-year-old: Me: 2: Me: 2: No. Apparently she’s always been neon yellow.
@jimmy_sharpe: I just know my cause of death will be trying to scoot my office chair around as fast as possible.
@abhorrent_wife: Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle.