@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Got thrown out of the theater during the Superman movie but was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.
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@michaeljhudson: "Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace" "Why, there's nothing for them in Keny-" "HAWAII, sir" "Right, that's wh
@caliraingirl: I love the smell of fabric softener through the outside vents when people do the laundry. I get a lot of restraining orders though.
@Julian_Deane: We’ve run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops.
@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box