@michaelianblack: Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time.
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@QwertyJones3: "Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?" Crowd: "NEIGH!" "Jesus Christ."
@d_duhwit: *worm surgeon beside worm in hospital bed." Doc:" Surgery went good but the floor was slippery and long story short you have a son now."
@QwertyJones3: I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold.