@robynpalmer1: Got to THE GATES and St. Peter said, "Go home you're drunk!" Just another time alcohol saved my life.
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@WilliamRodgers: Me: Happy Easter! Taylor Swift: I hate Easter! It's all a lie! Me: The Jesus thing? Taylor Swift: Ya... Men don't come back after 3 Days!
@shariv67: No matter how many times he was killed by their products, Wile E Coyote remained loyal to the ACME brand. You've gotta respect that.
@Coolisiana: (Date) ME: Watch this *ties cherry stem with tongue* HER: *giggles* 1-UP WALLY: *places Rubik's cube in mouth and pulls it out solved*