@robynpalmer1: Got to THE GATES and St. Peter said, "Go home you're drunk!" Just another time alcohol saved my life.
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@goldengateblond: Watch 'Titanic' backwards and it's the feel-good story of a ship that rescues a bunch of drowning swimmers and takes them on a dream cruise.
@AnniemuMary: I'm not an actress but I play one on the phone when the lady asks me if I have a pen to write down the confirmation code.
@mjkspeaks: Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
@1Happytwit: My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.