@TheCattyLady: Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
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@TheFemKilljoy: The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it.
@StoferComic: A picture's worth 1,000 words, which explains why Twitter only shows 14 percent of the images I post.
@SteveKoehler22: Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ? So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.
@ShaunRightNow: Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.