@TheCattyLady: Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlackJerms: At Twitter HQ J: Users haven't complained in a while, what's going on? Devs: Oh, we've got just the thing *releases update
@badbanana: If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
@AnOrangeSNES: [A field] *An elderly Louie Pasteur and I sit among the clover, I hold a shotgun* Me: It's time to put you out to pasture. *Cocks shotgun*