@heykarlin: Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
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@StellaRtwot: Just saw a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be tweeting." It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?
@thepunningman: Me: Janet's boyfriend reminds me of Gandhi Wife: He looks nothing like him Janet's bf: [tapping on car window] Don't forget about Gandhi
@rogerbellin: future historians will point to this and ask how we didn't see the third world war coming