@jordan_stratton: Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.
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@freypalm: Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*
@QwertyJones3: Parenting styles often relax as you have more kids. For example my 1st born ate only all-natural, organic food. My 2nd eats broken glass.
@HEYWATCHMETWEET: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching.