@Moldy_Jellybean: Government shutdown day 7: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
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@FreddyAmazin: 3 horrible things in life: 1) Seeing your mom cry. 2) Seeing the love of your life fall in love with somebody else. 3) Slow Internet.
@KevinFarzad: FYI guys: If a girl plays w/ her hair while talking to u, it means she has an itchy scalp, possibly lice. Stay away, it is very contagious.
@iLikeCatShirts: *Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!
@greenteam15: My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history