@brunopieroni: "GRAAAAAAIIIINNNNS" — Vegetarian Zombie
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@215potter: Guy threw a banana peel out the window into my lane 2day. Yrs of practice paid off and I arrived to work safely. Thank you Mario Kart.
@theDanLawler: A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours.
@BaileysIrishTom: Meeting my friend's new kid is always awkward. I mean, do I let them smell my hand before I pet it or just go right in?
@leshnevsky: If I stabbed someone with icicle, no one would find the murder weapon, because it melts. This thought is haunting me.