@MavenofHonor: *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring
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@XplodingUnicorn: I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead
@MrGeorgeWallace: I run a gambling ring where we throw humidifiers and dehumidifiers into a pit and let 'em fight that shit out.
@ericsshadow: DOCTOR: *holding $5 bill* what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay, but you still need to lose weight ME: *hands him $20 bill*