@MavenofHonor: *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I'm a really big cat person ME: *leans in really close* You don't look anything like a cat
@TheQuietPsycho: I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore
@adamlucidi: If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back.
@JermHimselfish: Grapefruit juice tastes like orange juice that just found out it has to work on it's day off.