@SSDated: Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!
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@RS3Feed: I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care.
@SpencerLenox: A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Are those Chinos? Me: No. These are my pants. Coworker... Me: Who steals pants?