@chinchillasaur: [graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great
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@dafloydsta: [first day as a lawyer] ME: Clearly my client is guilty, your Honor. JUDGE: *pinching bridge of nose* Are you sure you want to defend yourself?
@CornOnTheGoblin: cause baby now we've got baaathtubs you know we soaking in maaad suds so take a loofah for baaack scrubs cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]
@flashember: *plane crashes in ocean* *washes ashore island* *imprisoned by crabs* *rises to become Crab Emperor* *assassinated by most trustworthy crab*