@chinchillasaur: [graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great
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@SortaBad: The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken
@katbento: Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented? What are our scientists doing?
@4Anno: I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
@david8hughes: [meeting at round table] "King Arthur, if I may?" "Go ahead." "Castles but bouncier." "Bouncy castles?" "But you gotta take your shoes off."