@chinchillasaur: [graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great
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@david8hughes: [egg store] Me: what kinda eggs are these? Clerk: chicken eggs Me: u got dog eggs? Clerk [holdin up a sign saying meet me out back in 5]: no
@Sleinso: *Goes to local train station* *Runs into platform 9¾* *Head bangs against wall* Family: What were you doing? Me: *whispers* Pfft! Muggles.
@domesticH: wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!