@chinchillasaur: [graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great
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@justabloodygame: Lmao at people who 'play Devil's advocate' like Lucifer doesn't already own all the lawyers.
@MarfSalvador: [Pulled over by cops] Murderer: I swear officer! There ain't nuthin in the trunk! Cop: SIR, PLEASE STEP DOWN FROM THE ELEPHANT
@hell_doe: what's my dream career? the guy who bakes chickens and hides them in the walls in castlevania. next question
@OBiiieeee: [trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex] Her: faster! faster! Me: oh god no