@TheDeducers: Grammar Nazi hiding in Argentina captured after being baited on social media with an inappropriate you're usage
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@rockymomax: DRUG DEALER: whatya want? ME: *takes his hand in mine* what do YOU want? DRUG DEALER: *tearing up* no one ever asks me that
@fro_vo: [First Date] Me: so can I see you again? Her: I had a nice time but I don’t think so Me: *stops holding in stomach*
@underrateDad: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 4,917 times and you're probably my kids.