@TheDeducers: Grammar Nazi hiding in Argentina captured after being baited on social media with an inappropriate you're usage
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@Underchilde: If you’re going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I’m going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it.
@MuttCutts: "Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there.
@TheMichaelRock: Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible.