@WalkingAnxiety: Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you're nuts.
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@oxygenplug: "yes I'm very good in bed" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* "Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"
@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE
@Doublelife64: Me to 4 yr old niece: your shoes are on the wrong feet Niece looks down and says: I don't have any other feet Outsmarted again.
@wimpsicle: How you doin' Jerusalem! "WINE" Here's a new tric- "MAKE WINE" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*