@WalkingAnxiety: Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you're nuts.
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@toomanytoes: "Endless shrimp" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop.
@Donna_McCoy: "I hate seeing you like this," she thought every time she encountered anyone over the course of the day.
@DaddyJew: Listening to coworkers try and explain Fight Club to another coworker and all I could think was "we really shouldn't be talking about this".
@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine I would go back to the Star Wars era and kill baby Darth Vader