@PaulyMosh: Grandma found out I'm single so I have roughly an hour to find a gf or Ill be getting the 'have you thought about being a priest' talk again
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@mamamia6212: My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons
@DanielAda1960: Napkins used after eating hot wings and then put in your pocket should NEVER be used as toilet paper no matter how much you've had to drink.
@daemonic3: Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!? "Mom, it's-" *dad makes throat slice gesture* "No one, Mom. No one"
@WildeThingy: [re-enacting the lift scene from Dirty Dancing] "come to me baby, and jump, and oops... You landed in my mouth again! You silly gummy bear."