@Mr_Kapowski: Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday
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@thenatewolf: Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out.
@trevso_electric: Trev's antisocial challenge: walk up to the first coworker you see and say, "I'm sorry you feel threatened by my triceps."
@JamesCoolie: The problem with Quotes on #Twitter is that... it is so difficult to tell if they are Genuine - William Shakespeare
@realHamOnWry: I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'