@stockejock: Grandma, stop asking people what they're supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.
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@Sirrruh: So he says, "Argh! Give me yer booties!" & he steals all the baby booties. ... There's an audience for Baby Blackbeard & I'LL FIND IT.
@youcancallmesim: Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
@fro_vo: Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four? Me: i have no idea what he's for
@shkeeber: GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! DID YOU KNOW THAT FROSTED FLAKES DON'T TASTE HALF BAD WITH RED BULL INSTEAD OF MILK? I THINK I'LL RUN TO WORK TODAY!