@clindsaysway: Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don't tell me about the great 'bargain' you found.
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@Tmoney68: Son: When did u know you were old? Me: When I started saying 'congratulations' to friends who said they were pregnant instead of 'oh shit.'
@better_off_dad: Doctor: What seems to be th- Me: -Medicinal marijuana! Doc: I'm sorry? Me: Let's start with the answer, then work on the problem, ok?
@EBenita0517: I'm Puerto Rican, but not "carries a knife in my purse everywhere I go" Puerto Rican. Sometimes it's in my bra.