@clindsaysway: Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don't tell me about the great 'bargain' you found.
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@stacieooooo: You'd think a baby would make the perfect paperweight, but this one keeps rolling off my desk.
@TechnicallyRon: A vegan walks into a bar and doesn't say anything because the person who has never seen star wars is going on about never seeing star wars.
@ChaseMit: My little sister is bringing her black boyfriend to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving so I'm bringing popcorn and a comfortable chair.