@robfee: Gravity 0/5: Worst Space Jam sequel ever. Literally no basketball.
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@AmandaDuberman: Any woman with three or more exes in her city could have told Obama how to avoid Putin in Normandy.
@XplodingUnicorn: Old high school classmate: Really? You're about to have your 4th child? Me: Are you surprised I like kids? Him: I'm surprised you had sex.
@Wine_Honey1: People tell you to make yourself at home but then look confused when you drink their liquor and take a nap in the kitchen
@mrsmith196645: I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly.