@philmann: Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich
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@theevilwriter: Tip: if you often say things like "there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers.
@UncleDuke1969: "Wow, it's pouring out there." "Just let a smile be your umbrella!" "That's not how rain works, Karen."
@glittergirlD43: Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
@XplodingUnicorn: 6: Why are we at the vet? Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies? Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch