@NicestHippo: "Great speech! Have you thought about giving it from behind a wooden box for some reason?" - podium salesman
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@DothTheDoth: I can't wait for the stage of capitalism where we have to watch a 15 second advertisement before we remember a memory.
@ZWindsor_: Teacher- "How much is a gram?" Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"
@vineyille: It says here on your resume that you're "good at traps," could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?
@iamspacegirl: Geppetto: I wish you were a real boy Pinocchio *begins to sing & dance around* Geppetto: yay! [3 hrs later] Geppetto: This was a mistake