@jdforshort: Green smoothies because who has the time or energy to chew 17 cups of spinach/lettuce/kale
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@The_KJM: I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial.
@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
@PastorMark: A hipster guy is one who kept his grandpa's clothes but lost his grandpa's work ethic.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Me: *sigh* I've had so many shellfish lovers Doctor: You mean selfish? [30 crabs come out of my pants] Doctor: Haha here's some cream