@pissrifle: GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- "what's the deal with airline food?" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL
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@InternetHippo: CNN, 1939: Invading Poland made him sexy ;) CNN, 1940: Hitler has developed a disturbing penchant for invasions
@ApocalypseBnG: How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Comcast Cable acquiring Time Warner Cable is a lot like your proctologist acquiring a bigger finger.
@wesleysnipes: Today I am choosing to stay positive and kind to anyone I encounter today, except vampires.