@pissrifle: GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- "what's the deal with airline food?" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL
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@_SingleBabyMama: Asked my toddler if she'd work on being more careful when eating in her car seat. Her response was an immediate "No." At least she's honest.
@Rollmaninoz: Cashier: haha that’s a lotta candy, getting ready for Halloween early eh Me:… Cashier:… Me:… Cashier:… Me: yep
@ClichedOut: Me: *walks to counter* One large fry. Cashier: Sir, there's a line. Me: Oh, they're not with me.
@meaculpau27: In Starbucks a woman went sh*t house rat crazy when she got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot she ordered. I'm fine now.