@pissrifle: GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- "what's the deal with airline food?" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL
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@dsmitty62: Today is "bring your dog to work day". I thought it was "bring your dawg to work day". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg
@DurtMcHurtt: *attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever
@buckweiser13: Being nice to people who don't deserve it is exhausting, but the feeling at the end of the day, when you're not in jail for murder, is nice.