@droidbears: greys anatomy is so unrealistic. there is no way you can have sex in a place that smells like a hospital
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@MatCro: [GF comes home to find our son alone] Where are you? I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: [soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice] I AM
@shanethevein: Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice.
@david8hughes: [sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming