@droidbears: greys anatomy is so unrealistic. there is no way you can have sex in a place that smells like a hospital
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@myonlymizztake: Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons.
@Beerhaze: Having a wife and daughters, I try bottles in the shower until I find one that doesn't burn my balls and wash myself all over with that one.
@squirrel74wkgn: [alien wobbles out of spacecraft] "Take me to your leader" [30 minutes later] Me: So, this is my wife...