@Bizarro_Mark: Grocery store just charged me $0.10 to offset the environmental impact of my bag and then gave me a paper receipt 3 feet long.
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@dshack8: At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Wearing shirts of bands you don't listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.
@BlindVigil: I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
@TheChrisAngel: By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks.