@Bizarro_Mark: Grocery store just charged me $0.10 to offset the environmental impact of my bag and then gave me a paper receipt 3 feet long.
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@ValeeGrrl: Capture a raccoon & an octopus. Sit them on the couch. Give them snacks. Sit between them. Turn on the TV. Now you're ready to have kids.
@bourgeoisalien: My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson.