@GroperCleveland: "Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree
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@NottaBigDeal: I stand in the tampon aisle and when a woman reaches for a box, I snicker and say "you're gross".
@KalvinMacleod: Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car
@OneFunnyMummy: My kids and I are exact opposites. They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me.