@GroperCleveland: "Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree
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@BoobsRadley: Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body
@Vodkantots: I thought I found my soul mate for a minute there, but he was just a pervert on the internet. *runs after him
@clindsaysway: An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all.