@keplyq: guard your heart, cater to no man's ego, honor your own time and your energy, don't use uber. happy 2015.
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@findmydolls: In September a 127 yr old woman passed away, which we already KNOW is a lie bc the earth isn't even 127 yrs old. Don't be ignorant.
@13spencer: I work in the entertainment industry, so the only way I could lie more is if I worked in politics.
@jordan_stratton: ME: You're saying I'm not smart enough for this job? BOSS: Well, yes. ME: [points to computer] Just because I can't use the typewriter TV?
@WhatsHerFace33: Friend - You smell nice, what's that perfume you're wearing? Me - Fear and fabric softener.