@andylevy: "Guess I'll turn on the news to see what the government is up to" - The President of the United States
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@djdarrellripley: You may be little now, but don't be discouraged. Someday, you'll be a man just like me. *baby starts crying*
@LeBearGirdle: Wife: [holding old dog] I thought you took care of this yesterday Stormtrooper husband: *looks out back to see gun marks all over the yard*
@VinnyPisciotta1: Good is the enemy of great. Sponge is the enemy of math. Metaphysics is the enemy of Walmart.