@noog: Guide to making everyone hate you:
Step 1) Turn your hat backwards
@LindseyEllison2: If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me.
@funnybeachgirl: "I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!!!"
(Seductively takes baby dragon out of Gucci purse & lights cigarette.)
@YourTumblrFeed: *job interview*
so tell me a fun fact about yourself
Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh-
get the hell out
@katiefzack: I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it.
@carlyken: How To Tell A Girl Is Mad:
1. She tells you she's mad
2. She tells you she's not mad
3. She sets your stuff on fire
4. She sets you on fire