@noog: Guide to making everyone hate you:
Step 1) Turn your hat backwards
@MarkPuente: The best letter to the editor in today's @TB_Times.
@fightforfood: I'm not saying Goldilocks was a piece of shit, but she broke into someone's house and just started eating their breakfast.
@mrtruthandsoul: According to math, I'm broke
@NurseMurderer: I want to put hot dogs on my fingers so I have extra long, floppy, hot dog fingers.
@KevinFarzad: *tries to quietly eat carrot sticks during your funeral*