@_TeaChap: Scientology, because even Jehovah Witnesses need something to laugh at after a hard day of knocking on doors.

@Mr_Kapowski: Q: When is Santa's birthday? A: Since Santa comes once a year and he's married, Santa's birthday is December 25th

@JRehling: Nobody in 1972 would have guessed that in 2014, Bill Cosby and Charles Manson would both be in the news, but Manson more favorably.

@allforandrea: It's hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.

@philmann: DAD GUIDE ON HOW TO WATCH A MOVIE: 1) put on a movie 2) don't watch it 3) read a book 4) every time something happens ask what happened