@AllyBallyBeal: Guy across the road can't get his truck started. Now he's rolled up his sleeves. That's how you start trucks. By rolling up your sleeves.
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@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before
@str8outaCompUSA: Jesus, don't take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up. *hands cup of water* DON'T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN
@jonnysun: *touches a turtel* *dies* *touches a plant* *dies* wow mario are u allergic to evreything or wat
@thepunningman: Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman