@michaelianblack: Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn't have waffle cones but they had PICTURES of waffle cones. That guy was me.
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@RowanElHossary: I cried during that sad part of Titanic, when Rose threw that beautiful diamond in the ocean.
@man_spach: Starting to fear that all the urgent work emails I LOL'd at and deleted earlier were not actually April Fools' jokes.
@FeelingMervis: Find someone who can make you happy, like a doctor or pharmacist....basically anyone who has access to mood-enhancing drugs.