@KenJennings: Guy at the park who just put out his cigar and started doing tai chi is my new fitness guru.
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@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy.
@sugarboyfly: Listen guys, if a 5yo comes up to you and asks if it's true that zombies won't eat kids who eat their broccoli, BACK ME UP, DAMN IT.
@InternetHippo: JESUS: I am the way, the truth, and the life ME: This guy is definitely an only child
@SardonicTart: Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay.